Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
