check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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