is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased