is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
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