Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.

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(516): View more from New York

Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(231): View more from Michigan

His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?

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(317): View more from Indiana

I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium

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