I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...