Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
