What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i dont even know how to be here
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
