i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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