I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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