Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I love having hate sex.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
