she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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