we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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