i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
