The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
