So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
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And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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