In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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