How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
