Buhtt sex?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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