PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
