He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
