I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
