we're blogging at a bar
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
