Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize