So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
