you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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