East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize