you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i came on her dog
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
