so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
