Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I came so hard my ears popped.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
