his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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