I'm eating all of the evidence.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
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apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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