so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
