HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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