i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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