great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
