Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
