This is not my ceiling
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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