beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There's always time for handjobs
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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