Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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