he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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