I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
