Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
