remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.