No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes