We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
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I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.