i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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