I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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