Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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