He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
