I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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