how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
