Where is the hickey?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
