I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
