you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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