Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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