Tell her she can't have a vagina
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hippo gnu deer
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
