Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
