Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize