We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
