Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
