I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
