one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
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Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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