If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize