is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I intend to get homeless drunk
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
