I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So many bounce houses so little time
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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