he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
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whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
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I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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